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on Clothes and Decency - 2004-06-04
Abandonment, aye! So I should probably start tying up the loose ends in Singapore. Decide which books can wait half a year before I see them again. Decide which clothes can wait half a year too. The clothes bit will be hard. I have a lot of clothes. I'm not poor, I can afford them. It's just that I only wear a few. Every few weeks, you'd see me wear the same thing. I want desperately to buy new ones, but everytime I go out shopping, I come home so dejected. I'm of average build, so it's not that I can't fit into clothes. I'm content with my looks, so it's not like the mirrors make me detest my face. It's the clothes themselves, the ones that they sell these days. Tiny bits of cloth that barely cover anything. Girls are walking around wearing nothing but a bikini for a top. I can't do that. I won't do that. And so each time I go shopping, the number of clothes I'm willing to buy decreases. I've been sticking faithfully to the same three pairs of jeans for years now. Thank goodness their pantlegs are long, so I won't outgrow them too soon. Why don't I buy new ones? Where? I want jeans that won't show off my butt crack when I bend over to pick something up. I like my bellybutton covered, thank you, and my hips aren't anything spectacular to begin with. I'm a modest girl, and I like wearing decent clothes. I've only ever worn sphagetthi and tank tops under another blouse. I could buy T-shirts, but I'm also a girl who looks to wear pretty things. Blouses with a special cut - maybe a cute collar or flapping sleeves - not T-shirts so I can be someone's walking advertisement, or someone's way to change the world. This is a problem I cannot suck up and move on. I will never change, I think. I will never feel comfortable exposing too much of my skin, until my breasts seem likely to fall out of whatever tiny strip of cloth you call 'clothes' today. I would wear skirts - kneelength - long before you succeed in making me wear tiny little hot shorts. I was born with decency.
- - 2006-05-29 |