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on Pattern - 2005-11-03
I'm tired. 17 more days, and studying to do for 16 of those. Lord, how am I going to do this for another 5 semesters? I was watching my friend talk about going home for the holidays. I was participating, but it felt like I was watching too. She was worried about the feeling of going home, of having to come back. She was afraid that she wouldn't get to see her friends (me, them, everyone) anymore because every semester, people inevitably drift apart. Inevitably. And I watch because I think I know how it'll play out in the end, and I want to see if I'm right. If things are inevitable. I won't drift apart from her - I hope not, I really value her as a friend - but the others. How will it happen? I think I know because I've been through it all. Only two years at this overseas student business and already I feel like an expert at it. Go home, Talk online like mad lovers, then after a while talk less and less, then not at all - pretending not to see each other's SN - then at the end of the break, before the coming back, a sudden flurry of IMs. What flight will you be on? Where are you staying? What courses are you taking? Arrange a lunch date, postpone it, postpone it again, drop it, never meet until one day bump into each other and smile awkwardly, and regret, and swear it will never happen again. It will, though. For 5 more semesters. Every time.
- - 2006-05-29 |