I miss learning.

This lexicon I'm putting together? This amassing of graphics and crazy talk? It's all a parody of studying. Taking down notes and putting them into an easily referenceable list.

I sense it - next semester, I'm really going to enjoy myself. There'll be a course called Marine Science, for goodness sake, how could I not? Yes, there is always the faint chance that I will come face to face with the type of work that'll be expected of me when I get out to the working world and realise that I do not like it at all, but it is so very, very faint. Call up the smelling salts and ready the heaving bosom sort of faint.

Anyway, all this free time only makes me think (not that I don't think all the time, which I do, which is tiring, but when I'm working it's more background noise than foreground only-thing-to-do), and when I've exhausted all the good things to think about, my mind goes to black and depression and it's really, really cramping my style. It's hard to be a fountain of giggles when one's crying quietly in the back of the car trying not to let her parents realise that she's crying quietly in the back of the car.

I've just read Serenity and it's hard to be serious with Mal's voice in my head. But delve under all that and there's something serious in there.

I promise.

< bass | treble >

- - 2006-05-29
- - 2006-05-01
on The Ineffable - 2006-03-27
on being a matyr - 2006-03-23
- - 2006-03-17